for my valentine kyle...
+ Β° . ΰΉγ»Β° βΉ . + Β° . ΰΉγ»Β° βΉ . + Β° . ΰΉγ»Β° βΉ .
(*whispers* listen to this)
| ___________ | ||_/-\_|______ |
| | | | | | | |
| | 0 0 | | | | 0 0 | |
| | - | | /~`~\/~`~\. | | - | |
| | \___/ | | ( me & ) | | \___/ | |
| |___ ___| | `\ u!!! / | |___________| |
|_____|\_/|_____| `\ /' |_______________|
_|__|/ \|_|_.............`\/'............._|________|_
/ ********** \ / ********** \
/ ************ \ / ************ \
-------------------- --------------------
β₯ our bodies may be miles apart,
but computer screens connect our hearts! β₯
dear kyle,
thank you for downloading my love, from my computer to yours.
i've never written a love letter in VS code before. i wanted to find a way to send you a valentine while you were on a remote island, far far away... summoning the 'ol HTML and CSS skills of neopets and myspaces past seemed like a good place to start.
it's made me reflect upon an era of my life where i would dream about love online. as a lonely 12 year old girl exploring the WorldWideWeb, i'd search and come across what i thought was love in all the wrong places across chatrooms, forums, and many much worse settings. i'd disconnect myself completely from the "real world", in favor of this new place and self that i could romanticizie. i'd allow practical strangers manipulate me into sharing my most intimate self under the guise of true understanding. i'd even go as far as creating fake profiles and personalities so that i could feel loved, even if falsely, as another person.
i wanted so deeply to be loved, but i knew so little about what that actually meant. what it looked like. how it felt. it seemed distant, mysterious, and inaccessible. i only knew enough to know that i could imagine the love i desired in this life, but had never seen it for myself. at times i wondered if i would ever really have the opportunity to truly understand and hold onto love, tightly with my own two hands.
fast forward to present day, 29 year old irl olive. sometimes, iβm not sure if you really understand how profound it has been to learn that the love iβve dreamed about my entire life, is not just real, but found in you. iβve spent so much of my time in an avoidant fervor of fantasy, only to discover that my reality with you is better than anything i could ever dream of.
but how could i have known? how could i have ever known that someone like you would enter my life? someone who embraces the world and all of its unknowns with both a tender kindness, and unrelenting curiosity. someone with a level of intelligence that should be intimidating, but is insightfully profound instead. someone who makes me smile and laugh into a new oblivion each day. someone who's touch is made of pure magic. someone who inspires me to really, TRULY be my best self. someone who helps everyone around them understand the beauty and value that they hold. someone who works hard to love at a depth barely even imagined by most. someone who ideates the most ambitious dream, and confidently turns them into a reality. it's no wonder that you managed to make my dreams come true, too.
you make me feel like a naive teenager, drunk with love. but it makes a lot of sense, because in many ways, i'm in love for the very first time. you are the first person to see me for who i really am. you're also the first to love me even more than i could ever imagine because of it. the first to look at me with an unprecedented curiosity, devouring everything you could to learn about me. the first to hold me in exactly the right way, sometimes before i even know it myself.
i know we talk about staying in love forever. and for some reason, i still think that we might just be the first couple in the entire world to ever do it.
))<>((
yr forever love, olive